The thing with Peterson had stretched out way past the last game of the season and I was starting to contemplate cheating on him with one of his friends, like Evans, just so he would see what an awful person I am and end it. Most guys can see a breakup coming and step up so they can be in control. With Peterson’s laid-back attitude I wasn’t sure he would take the lead. But then the text came on Tuesday, telling me he was coming over to talk. What a relief. I was ready for the usual quick ten-minute breakup that I’ve been through so many times before, but nothing is ever that easy. He spent twenty minutes talking to my housemates. He gets along with my friends—that’s another drawback of breaking up with Dylan Peterson. Finally, in front of everyone, I said, “You wanted to talk?” Sarah and Jessica went silent and then made excuses to leave the kitchen. Alli gave Peterson a hug and then followed the others out of the room. They knew what was coming. They know me.
“Not here,” he said in a stern voice that I hadn’t heard before as he motioned toward the door.
I followed him upstairs to my room, where he proceeded to make himself at home. He removed his shoes and stretched out on my bed, patting the space next to him for me to lie down.
But I knew I couldn’t give in. I crossed my arms in front of me, a little irked that he was taking so long and said, “I thought you wanted to talk.”
“I do.” He stared at me like he was searching for the right words.
“Then talk,” I said, getting more annoyed as time ticked by.
“What’s going on with us, Megan? Are we ending?” he asked.
“If that’s what you want.” I tried to inflect that it was him making the decision. It’s better that way.
His lips hardened and he shook his head not meeting my eyes. “Is it what you want? Ever since basketball ended, you’ve been pushing me away. You haven’t stayed over in weeks and this is only the second time that I’ve ever been on your bed.”
I could have put it back on him, implying that he put too much emphasis on sex, but I didn’t want to burn bridges. I like Peterson. He’s not the mushy type and he doesn’t expect much from me, which is good because I don’t give much. “Finals are coming and then summer. You told me you’re working at that football camp up north. You may as well be in another state. I don’t expect you to be faithful. I know that’s too much to ask. Why pretend?”
“Is that all this is about. I never know what’s going on in that head of yours, Megan.” He grabbed my hand the pulled me toward him. “I thought it was another guy,” he added.
I wasn’t going to tell him it was lots of other guys. I shook my head, climbed up on the bed next to him and draped my arm across his chest.
He smiled and said, “I understand. Summer’s a long time.”
We laid there for another half hour, without talking, before he had to leave for work. When he left we kissed goodbye. Even though it took so long, it was one of my better breakups and now I’m a free agent again. Not that I was tied down to Peterson, but he has a lot of friends and I’m not the type to humiliate a guy in front of his buddies. Not that I haven’t done it before—I have. But just twice and they both deserved it, Peterson doesn’t.
Despite my roommates telling me that I need to break it off completely, I can’t. I know it’s not fair to Peterson, but part of me wants to hang on to the big Teddy Bear, so I blamed my insecurities. “What’s going to happen once school ends? You’re moving home for the summer, right? Are we really going to keep it going with you out in Minnetonka and me in Stillwater? It’s an hour drive without road construction. What’s it going to be like this summer once every road in the Cities is down to one lane? Do you think we can keep it together with texts? I’d rather end it now before we hate each other.”
He took a deep breath and pushed his head into my pillow. “Is it another guy?” Of course, he would assume that.
“It’s not another guy.” I climbed up on the bed and straddle his chest. “I’m really bad with distance and I don’t think it is fair to expect you to stay faithful this summer when we’re so far apart. We’ll never see each other.”
“It’s not that far. People commute further than that every day for work.”
“Not me. I can’t do it. I know that if I’m spending my entire summer trying to connect, I’m going to end up despising you. I don’t want that and right now I have to concentrate on school. Finals are in less than two weeks. When classes start again in the fall, we can see where we’re at and go from there. I like you, Peterson. Basketball wouldn’t be the same without you.” I leaned down and pressed my lips to his. It didn’t take more than a second for him to respond—everywhere. If he weren’t so easy-going he would have stormed out of my room before it got to that point. Maybe he just knew how to play me, but I felt bad and whispered, “One last time?”
