Megan: April 28, 2013
I was right. Scott really wanted Sarah. He was all over me today, trying to extract her phone number from me. I met Peterson and him for lunch, and it was the first thing that came out of Scott’s mouth.
“I've got to get her number,” he said. “Your friend is exactly what I need, but I didn't have enough time to work my magic. Just give me her number.” He took out his phone, so confident.
I told him “no,” and he set his phone on the table, staring at me like I had just taken a sledgehammer to his Xbox one.
“Come on. My mojo was all off that night. She didn't get to see the real me or she definitely would have been all over this.” He flexed his biceps and I started laughing, unable to control myself. “What’s so funny? You can’t tell me that you don’t want a piece of this.”
I was still laughing when Peterson wrapped his arm around me and spoke up. “Not a chance, douche lord. Not when she’s got me.”
“You’re not her type,” I told Scott, trying hard not to crush his fragile self-esteem. Guys who plump their feathers the biggest are usually the easiest to break.
“What, is she into girls?”
I explained to the Lord of Douches that not every girl who’s not into him is a lesbian. Why do guys always say that? It’s such a copout. I like our new nickname for him, though. It fits him. “Sarah likes a guy with some depth, Douche Lord.”
“I can show her some depth,” he said, stroking the front of his jeans.
I rolled my eyes. “And that is exactly why she would never date you. She wants a guy that sees beyond his dick and actually cares about the world. She will never go out with you. You may as well give it up. You’re too self-satisfying.” So much for protecting his ego. Now it was Peterson’s turn to laugh.
Scott scoffed like he still thought she was gay, and then took a long sip of his coke with a contemplative expression. I thought for a minute that he might understand my point after all, but then he told me to make sure she was at their next party so Sarah could decide for herself. I rolled my eyes again. Some guys will never understand women.
No comments:
Post a Comment