Blonde Chicks Preferred: July 19

Liam Nordstrom:  July 19

Nak and I met Jake Gorboni before heading over to Club Priela, on our second attempt to flush Leslie from Nak’s system. To say last week was unsuccessful would be an understatement, but this week Nak was ready. We got seated in the VIP area, not the best table, but decent for not letting the club know that we were coming. Girls surrounded us in a greater than usual effort to get our attention and I wasn’t sure if it was Jake’s company or my newly established notoriety that drew them in.

It’d been months since I was out at this club. My girlfriend wasn’t thrilled about me going out with the guys a second weekend in a row, but she accepted it for Nak’s sake. It was to her benefit to stop his moping around the house. She had to live with him too, after all.

I propped my casted leg on a chair, using my injury to pull more fish into our net. No one asked what happened to my leg. My motorcycle accident was common knowledge now. My crash and the false accusations of the underage girl had done wonders for my Internet presence and every female seemed to be in tune with my life’s story.

It was weird, being out at a club. I’d been removed from the scene too long. Since Kelsey moved in, I hadn’t been driven to go out shopping and that’s what a club is for a man, a giant chick mall. I’m not sure if I’d call what Kelsey and I have love, but it is the closest that I’ve ever been to that state. She’s the only person that I have ever dated that has made me stop to think before acting and that’s new for me.

I tried to direct the beauties toward Nak, even though the first sentence out of every girl’s mouth seemed to be, “So you’re single again?” They assumed that since Kelsey wasn’t there, we’d split. And though it helped bring them to the table, I wanted it clear that I wasn’t shopping.

“Nope, but my roommate Nak is newly available.” My comment met pouty lips and a few longing touches trying to prove that my words meant nothing, but I behaved. I’m not the immoral bastard I play on television and messing up what Kelsey and I have didn’t appeal to me.

A couple of hours in, Nak had his arms around two girls—one a dead ringer for Leslie and the other I was pretty sure I had hooked up with last year—I wasn’t going to bring up either detail though. At least he looked pseudo happy.

I never realized how boring clubs are when you’re not shopping or able to move around. I sat stuck at the table because of my leg, limited to the people that found me. When the brunette crossed my vision, I just assumed she’d come for Gorboni or Nak, but no such luck. When she said my name, I realized who it was and couldn't suppress the groan that slipped from my lips.

“What’s up, Mia?”

She waited for everyone at the table to give her their full attention. Even though they wouldn’t be able to hear her above the techno music, she obviously wanted all eyes on her. “Why can’t you get Jonathan to come out with you? I thought you were buds. He needs to get out more.”

I gawked at her in disbelief. He’d never come to this club and she knew it.

“I think he’s too preoccupied with that girl he’s seeing.” He wasn’t technically seeing her yet, but he was planning to meet her in less than a week and it brought me great satisfaction to watch the smugness on Mia’s face crumble into concern.

“What girl?” She straightened her posture and brushed her dark hair behind her shoulder, trying not to look bothered by my reveal.

“Some girl. He’s known her for months. Hasn’t he told you about her?”

She glared at me while the microprocessors in her head fired, trying to make sense of my words. “Not the non-Hollywood chick?”

“Yep. That’s her.” She was definitely not Hollywood.

“She’s never going to last,” she spat. And though it may have been true, I didn’t like the way it sounded coming from Mia’s mouth.

“What’s it matter to you anyway? I thought you were hot and heavy with Fallston. Are you done with him already?” Her lips curled into a sneer and she glared at me for a moment readying to tear my head off. I didn’t have the patience for her. Just as she opened her mouth, Tom Fallston’s arms wrapped around her behind her and he balanced his head on her shoulder.

“Hey, guys. Good music tonight, huh?” Fallston bellowed over the noise. They were still hot and heavy as far as he was concerned, I could tell. Mia, on the other hand, she’d drop him in a second if Jonathan Williams wanted her back.
Copyright 2015 Susan Schussler 

Blonde Chicks Preferred: July 12, 2013

Liam Nordstrom:  July 12, 2013

Will finally took the red pill and called the Internet girl. He was hilarious when he stopped by this afternoon, in the best mood. He kept cracking jokes and nothing I said seemed to bring him down. He’s completely whipped. He didn’t come clean with her about his fame, but at least he is talking to her. She sounds like a super sweet girl—nothing like Mia Thompson. Will deserves a break. Hope she doesn’t turn into a psycho bitch. He wants to meet her, so he and I were brainstorming on how he should spring his true identity on her.

“I say you just show up at her door. It’s not like she’s going to turn you away.”

“She might. She’s not impressed by fame. I think she’d see it as a detriment, not an asset. She’s not like the rest of the mindless drones. That’s why I like her.” He smiled and I could tell that he was thinking about something she said. “It’s got to be something big, something she can’t refuse.”

“If you had a premiere coming up, you could invite her to that.”

He shook his head. “I don’t. And I have to meet her before filming starts in September. It’s got to be larger-than-life, where she can’t just shut me down.”

“Talk to Nick,” I suggested. Our buddy Nick Reyes lives over the top every day and in a weird man-whore way knows women pretty damn well.

“Can do.” He cocked his head in agreement and we moved on to talking about his assistant Leslie and my housemate’s break up.

“Is it another guy?” I asked. “Because I think that Nak is in shock. He can’t figure out what happened.”

“I don’t think that she is seeing anyone else. Leslie said that they just agreed that it wasn’t working. She made it sound as if they were both too busy to keep it going.”

“If you gave the chick some time off, maybe she could have a decent relationship and Nak wouldn’t be moping around like a puppy with his head stuck in one of those clear plastic cones.”

“This is not my fault.”

Nak walked into the kitchen in yesterday’s clothes, wearing a three-day-old beard. “I’m pretty sure it is your fault, Jonathan Williams.” He sat down at the breakfast bar and spun around to face us.

“I am not getting involved in Leslie’s personal life. You are not worth me losing the only person that can keep me organized. Sorry, man.”

Nak slumped against the counter. “If she had just given me some warning. That would have been…I mean…what the hell? She shows up in Vancouver for my wrap party and granted the film didn’t have much of a budget so it wasn’t much of a party, but I was coming home. And she starts up with this it isn’t working BS. And we never see each other? We were flying out together. I just don’t understand.”

“It’s not another guy if that’s what you’re worried about. She’s probably just trying to work out her fall schedule. You know how anal she is. We’re going to be gone almost three months. Leslie likes to have everything methodically in order. I, on the other hand, say, seize the day.” Will chuckled and I knew he was talking about finally meeting the Internet girl.

“So you think I should call her or not?” Nak asked.

“Do what you have to do. Life’s too short. I’ve got to go,” Will added as he stood up and headed for the door.

“Can you talk to Leslie?”

Will turned and asked, “What do you want me to say.” He stared at him earnestly.   

“Tell her we’re going out clubbing tonight,” I hollered. There was no way in hell that I was going to let Nak beg. “This is LA. There’s plenty of chicks wanting some Nak. Her loss.” I lifted my chin to stress my point. He doesn’t need her. “Are you coming with us or not,” I ask Will.

He smiled. “Can’t. I’ve got to figure out my own problems.” As he headed for the door he added, “Gorboni said he was looking for something to do. Give him a call.”

“Good luck with the Internet girl,” I yelled before the door closed.

Kelsey was visiting her family so it was the perfect night to go clubbing and I could always find some more people to join us. I’d call Gorboni for sure. I hadn’t been out clubbing since before the accident. My plastic leg boot and pain would assure that dancing was out, but the sympathy card the cast brought would reel in the chicks—all in the name of helping Nak. The sacrifices I make.

“You better shave. I can’t take you anywhere looking like that,” I said, slapping my roomie on the back as I hobbled over to the counter to grab my phone and figure out our plans for the evening. Copyright 2015 Susan Schussler  

Perfect Alli: July 11, 2013

Alli: July 11, 2013

I have five weeks left before school starts. I hate how fast time seems to move in adulthood. A week ago I was at the lake with Thor and now I don’t even know where we stand. After I told him that I didn’t want to come over after work, he got pretty quiet. I probably shouldn’t have said, “If we’re still together, then” when he mentioned meeting his parents at Thanksgiving. I just didn’t want to talk about meeting parents or future plans. He was stepping all over my strategies to concentrate on school. Who does he think he is messing with my head? I know I should have told him that I wasn’t interested in a relationship past summer. It just never felt like the right time.

Once, I went out with a guy who told me on our first date that he didn’t have time for a relationship. He was probably just being honest, but it came off condescending as if he thought he was better than me somehow. I didn’t even want to go on that date in the first place, but he had asked me out four times. I went out with him out of pity and then he turned it around to make me feel unworthy.

Even though I am not always the best at being empathetic (at least that’s what my friends say), I didn’t want to make Thor feel the way that douche made me feel. I like Thor. And he’d been through so much already. I thought if I waited, it wouldn’t sound so harsh. Now I’m just frustrated. He doesn’t know that short-term has been my plan all along. He sent me a text Saturday morning to tell me he was going back up to the Austins' cabin. I sent back “K.” Everyone knows the universal text meaning OK really means I’m pissed. I haven’t heard from him since. I don’t know if he got mad that I was pissed or if he was mad that I didn’t spend the night.

Everything is so unresolved. Maybe I should concentrate on work and lining up references for my med school applications like my mother keeps nagging me to do. It’s the easiest way to end it—no one is to blame, we just drift apart. We’ll see each other again at some point, unless I stop being friends with Sarah and Jessica or Thor and Jeff have a falling out. It’s a big incestuous circle of friends dating friends’ friends or friends’ brothers. What a mess. Note to self: In the future, only date strangers.

I could call him and invite him to go club hopping with us for Sarah’s twenty-first birthday. It would break the ice between us and Jeff is going to be there so if he’s still mad at me Thor can talk to him. But if I do that and then break up with him, how is that going to be better for him or me? I’m pretty sure my friends will be more forgiving of me if I tell them that he stopped texting me. I don’t really want to lose him yet, but it would be a lot easier just to let him slip away. Copyright 2014 Susan Schussler      

Jessica's Way: July 6, 2013

Jessica:  July 6, 2013

We were all up at Jeff’s family’s lake home for the fourth of July weekend—Sarah, Megan, Trent (Megan’s guy of the moment), Jeff and I. Alli had to work on the weekend at the hospital, so she and Thor left by noon on Friday. I was surprised when Thor came back up to the lake this morning though. I thought he and Alli were going to have a quiet weekend together. That’s what he had told Jeff when he left. I guess he changed his mind.

I didn’t realize that Thor and Alli had a fight until he corners me on the end of the dock.

“She hasn’t even told her parents about me,” he says, sitting down next to me on the bench. “I’m a decent looking guy. I’m going to grad school. Am I that much of a loser that her parents wouldn’t approve?”

I can’t help but laugh. He is indecently fine looking sitting next to me without his shirt. I know that he’s Jeff’s best friend, but still. That isn’t why I am laughing though. He obviously has no clue what Alli’s parents were like or he would never want to meet them. “Trust me, you don’t want them to know you exist.”

“What does that mean?”

I’m not sure if I should go into detail, but I think he deserves to know what he is in for if he wants a relationship with Alli. “Her parents are a bit overbearing. It is not worth meeting them if this is just going to be a summer thing.”

His brow furrows and his eyes squint as he glares at me. What did I say?

“Suppose they found out about me, what would happen?”

“They would very politely invite you out for dinner at the club, where they would interrogate you endlessly about your career plans and religious beliefs. And when you didn’t measure up, they would condemn you. Not because you’re a bad person, but because no one, not even themselves, can meet their standards. Then they would pinpoint your flaws and make sure that Alli was aware of each and every one of them, tenfold.” I pause hoping that helps clarify it for him. His scowl tells me I need to add more. “When I first met her mom, she tried to convince Alli that I wasn’t good friend material because my parents were going through a divorce and I was going to suck Alli dry with my emotional neediness. That was her conclusion though she had talked to me for no more than ten minutes. With guys, it’s worse. If you think Alli’s type-A personality is high strung now just wait and see what she’s like when her parents get all riled up.”

He looks out over the water following a speedboat with his eyes as it loops around the edge of the lake. “We’ve never even talked about religious differences.”

“I’m not trying to turn you off from Alli. She’s not like her folks. She views the world around her without blinders and can see outside the box. It’s just best to not stir the pot with her parents.”

“I thought she was Catholic. She went to a Catholic high school.”

“Her Nana is Catholic. But her parents joined a non-denominational church when Alli was in her teens. It’s a little extreme. I think it turned Alli off to all organized religions. You should probably talk to her about it. But I know for me with my mom’s crazy family, no one ever listens to anyone else with an open mind, so I’ve learned not to discuss religion or politics if I can help it. It just leaves me frustrated when I do. Alli probably feels the same way with her parents. It’s easier to let them assume she agrees with them. If she doesn’t make waves then she can live her life in peace.”

I could see the cogs of Thor’s brain turning in his expression. I hope I didn’t say anything wrong. I just wanted to help. He seemed so dejected, and he doesn’t deserve the psychological torture that Alli’s parents inflict. Sometimes Alli doesn’t realize that her parents don’t just affect her. They affect everyone she touches.

I hear the clomping of flip-flops against the wooden slats of the dock and I look back to see Jeff and the rest of the gang coming toward us in their swimsuits. I don’t know what else to say to Thor. I rise as Jeff spins the oversized wheel of the boatlift, clinking with each turn, to lower the boat. We’re going skiing and I still need to get my suit on before the boat leaves without me. I touch Thor’s shoulder and ask, “Are you OK?”

He nods and I know that is all I will get now that everyone else is on the dock. I squeeze past the group and hustle inside to get changed. Thor has to figure the rest out on his own. Alli is right to keep him away from her parents. I hope he understands.

Copyright 2014 Susan Schussler 

Perfect Alli: July 5, 2013

Alli: July 5, 2013

I’m riding back to the Cities with Thor from Sarah’s family’s cabin in northern Minnesota. I wanted to stay until the weekend like the rest of the group, but I have to work this afternoon and if I miss work my mother will never let it go. Thor wanted to ride together and since he doesn’t have to work, he may head back to the cabin after he drops me off. It’s not that far that I feel too much guilt about the drive. My guilt stems from what Thor said last night.

“We should get our own place on this lake someday.”

Whoa. It stopped me in my tracks. I’m not sure if he was just blabbering because we had been drinking and were in a boat in the middle of the lake watching fireworks or if he was making plans for the future. Who knows where I will be a year from now if I don’t get into the U’s medical school, let alone five years from now. Normally I would have blown off a comment like that, but after Thor’s brother told me last week that I need to end the relationship before Thor gets hurt, I’m a bit more sensitive about him making future plans. I don’t want to hurt him.

When I first met him, he seemed so confident and smooth that I was surprised he was even interested in me. Usually, hot guys don’t even give me a second look once I open my mouth. It’s not that I’m not decent looking. I can hold my own mostly and I have lady-parts. I’m just focused and I think they see me as too much work. That’s why I usually go for geeks. They seem more willing to see past my career fixation. Maybe it’s because they have their own goals or maybe it's because they’re not used to women talking to them.

The smile on my face provokes Thor to ask, “Who are you texting?”

“No one. I’m on Tumblr, just blogging. It helps me think.”

“Think? About last night?” He winks at me and his face lights with amusement.

“You are so full of yourself.”

“I have a right to be, don’t I?” He returns his eyes to the road as if his question is rhetorical.

“I suppose you do,” I admit even though I didn’t need to answer. I can feel the blush on my cheeks burn down my neck, thinking about what happened after the fireworks ended and I’m glad he is no longer looking at me.

“Do you want to come over after you get off work?”

“I thought that you were going back up to the lake.”

He grunts skeptically. “There’s nothing there for me if you’re not there. Besides I’d be the only one without a date.”

“Sarah doesn’t have a date.” I blurt out, not wanting him to hook up with Sarah, but to prove a point that he wouldn’t be the only single.

“She is cute. But I think Jeff’s sister is a little too obsessed with the Internet guy to even notice I’m there. I’d be stuck talking to myself.”

He was right. Now that Sarah and Will were actually talking on the phone, she was even more distracted than usual. She seemed dazed last night—which is not her. She kept checking her phone and complaining about the terrible cell service on the lake. Then after the fireworks, she drove into town to make a call. We all knew who she was calling.

“Do you want to come over or not?”

“Sure, but I can’t stay. My parents know the girls are all up at the lake and that means I don’t have an excuse for staying out all night.”

“You are an adult. Just tell them you’re staying at my apartment.” He says it as if nothing could be simpler. He looks over at me and he knows right away. I tried to look away but he caught my expression. “You haven’t told them about me, have you?”

I let out a deep breath and stumble over my words. “I…you…It wouldn’t make it easier to for me to stay over. They’re not going to approve of you.”

“So I’m not good enough for your parents? What, I need a Harvard degree or just need a Ph.D. behind my name?”

Damn. That’s not what I meant. “No, they’re not going to approve of any guy I’m with until I'm in my final year of residency.”

“Well, you’re going to have to introduce me at some point. I can wait until the end of summer when you’re back at school and no longer under their roof, but I am going to meet them.”

There it was—more future plans. Do I plant the seed about the breakup or do I ignore his comment? I wait a beat too long to respond and he adds, “You don’t want them to meet me ever, do you?”

This time I’m quick to respond. “It’s for your own protection. Really it won’t be pretty.” Then I laugh to make light of my words.

“Well you’re coming to my parents for Thanksgiving weekend, so you better think up a good lie to tell your parents by then.” His words have a bitter undertone and the determined look on his face tells me that he’s going to find a way to meet my parents. He’ll make it look like an accident—probably stop over unexpectedly and say that he thought that they wouldn’t be home. Then he gets what he wants and I can’t get mad.

“If we’re still together then,” I say and I don’t know if I'm planting the seed or if I'm just conveying how serious I am about me not wanting him to meet them. The rest of the ride is pretty silent. I want to know what he’s thinking, but I’m too afraid to ask. Maybe I’ll go home after work and give us both a night to process the conversation.
Copyright 2014 Susan Schussler  

Paris in LA: June 27, 2013

Paris Borel:  June 27, 2013

Jonathan Williams called yesterday. I couldn’t believe my good luck. My husband had been such a dick lately that I needed the escape. I never expected his call and Jonathan’s sexy voice hit me like the air in hot yoga—so steamy I could barely think. I hadn’t posted any substantial articles about him in weeks on my website. The last insignificant one was a result of the selfie that Mia Thompson had put up and he deserved that article. If he’s going to let her tweet about their early morning excursions then who am I to keep it away from my readers. I knew he couldn’t be calling about that tiny blip. Since the selfie, I’ve only posted the usual daily sightings of him around town—the fan pics, not the paparazzi. Though I’m sure my readers would devour paparazzi pictures, it would break the unspoken agreement that I have with Jonathan. I don’t think he would be so forthcoming with his private life if I entangled myself with the vultures. It’s more personal when I post fan pics anyway and I so want to be personal with him.

Jonathan was clearly interested in my life—another surprise. He knew about Gerard’s problems with the coach’s daughter. He even knew about Gerard’s shoulder injury. Though it was in the press, it pleased me that he’d been keeping track of me so closely.

When he told me that he and Mia Thompson weren’t getting back together, I offered myself to him on a platter for his enjoyment. I guess I should have been more subtle with him, more seductive. Being direct didn’t work.

He’s a bit more complicated than most men. In my experience with the male species, what you see is what you get. Jonathan has been through more than any twenty-three year old should have to endure and most of the time I have no idea what motivates him. But the more I’ve gotten to know him, the more I can spot his vulnerabilities. He’s got this tender side that calls to me. So while most of the press has been ruthless to him over the last few years, I have cultivated a personal relationship with him and I can tell he sees me as different. Jonathan and I have an undeniable connection.

He wanted the email address for some girl that was a regular poster on my website. At first, I was skeptical about providing him links to the competition. But when he mentioned that he thought she was his brother’s ex, I couldn’t say no. If it was the ex-girlfriend I thought it was, she wouldn’t want anything to do with him anyway. Besides I couldn’t deny him anything. All he would have to do is say my name with those gorgeous lips and I’d cave.

Gerard says I need professional help. He thinks that my infatuation with Jonathan is unhealthy. And maybe it is, but he doesn’t realize that it plays into my plan. Payback’s a bitch, right? My husband should never have cheated on me. He doesn’t know what lengths I’m willing to go for revenge.

Jonathan’s call definitely doused gasoline on the already lit fuse that I hadn’t told Gerard about. I was ready for my oblivious husband to know what he had started. I revealed my affair with his teammate, Caleb Gossling, and I thought he would at least smash his hand through the wall or break the corner off the granite breakfast bar. But he just grinned at me and before taking a bite of his sandwich, casually announced, “I guess we’re even.” Then he spun around on his bar stool and flicked on ESPN.

We were far from even, but I was so caught off guard by his lack of emotion that I was speechless. Me speechless? I could tell he was waiting for me to become irrational, but I wasn’t going to give him the satisfaction. He had his own game going on. I just smiled and leaned over the counter, purring in his ear. “Next time it will be with someone that means something to me.”

He knew who I meant.

“A tit for a tat, Gerry.” His lip curled a little at my words as he rotated back to meet my eyes. He hated it when I called him Gerry.

He stared at me, while I wondered how long my threat would keep him in line. The fury in his eyes penetrated me, sending a shiver down my spine. He’d never gotten violent at home. I knew so many hockey wives that dealt with violence off the rink. They accepted it as part of the package with the high adrenaline lifestyle. The money and recognition brought privilege—the abuse just became part of the payment—sanctioned by the wife’s lack of power. The minute a woman stopped seeing herself as equal, the relationship became askew and she was no longer more than an accessory—something to be worn and thrown away.

And maybe Gerard’s and my relationship was off kilter a bit too. I knew the coach’s daughter wasn’t his first. But hell if I was going to stand for his cheating any longer. With Jonathan’s call, I knew I had options.

I stared right back at him. I wasn’t going to let him intimidate me. When his hand jetted out and grasped my shoulder hard, his fingers digging into my skin, I cringed at the impending blow. But instead, he pulled me in for the most tender kiss I’ve ever had and as I lay on my stomach stretched across the breakfast bar, I melted into his arms, imagining he was my fascination.

“No more, baby,” he whispered, though I knew he was lying. At least, for now, he would be faithful and that was better than a fist to the side of the head. I’d made it clear that I wouldn’t let him get away with the cheating. He knew the price. But I knew that I wouldn’t have to wait forever to quench my obsession with Jonathan, guilt-free.
Copyright 2014 Susan Schussler

Perfect Alli: June 26, 2013

Alli: June 26, 2013

Thor had packed a picnic for dinner and we eat it on the beach—Thai chicken salad, with broccoli and red peppers. He says he made it, but I suspect that his brother who’s a chef made it. It tastes great. He pulls out wine and we drink it out of plastic cups as we try to hide the fact that we are drinking on a public beach.

After eating we stroll around Lake Calhoun. He keeps playfully bumping into me as we walk. When we stop to view the Minneapolis skyline—the lowering sun painting the mirrored buildings orange and red—he wraps his arms around me and pulls me against him. His breath in my ear matches mine as if we were singing a round of silent melody. As my lungs fill, his empty. Then mine empty and his fill.

We stand in silence as bikers and joggers buzz by. His words, usually so free-flowing, seem noticeably absent. I wonder what he’s thinking. Did he take his ex-fiancé here on a similar date? Is he thinking of her? Or is he thinking of last week when we went to the same coffee shop to watch a different band? I’m not sure, but he seems a bit distant. I pull him back onto the path and say, “Come on. We’re going to miss the band.” The sun won’t set until almost 9:30, but we still have to make it halfway around the lake to the coffee shop in uptown before all the tables are taken. Last week it was so packed that we had to sit around the corner from the main room and we couldn’t even see the band. “We’re not going to get a table,” I say, just to get him back on task. He smiles and follows me.

By the time we get to the coffee shop, there are people lined up against the back wall and I can’t see any open tables, not even around the corner where we sat last time. Thor pushes our way through the standing room only crowd like he owns the place and I’m thinking that he’s crazy for even trying until I see his brother. Grayson is sitting next to some girl that I know I’ve never seen before, and we slide into the booth across from them.

“Hey, Red,” says Grayson with Thor’s smile.

I didn’t notice it before but they have the same smile. I’m not really fond of the name Red, but I’ve heard it so many times that I ignore it. I return the smile and he introduces his blonde beauty of the moment. Camryn or Kya, I don’t remember. It doesn’t matter because I’ll never see her again. I wonder whether or not Thor will become more like his brother and have a different girl on his arm every week after we break up. On looks alone, he could pull it off, but I don’t think his heart would be in it. He’s not that shallow.

Thor sits for the obligatory introductions and then excuses himself to stand in line for our coffees. I know we will break up. After my meeting with Dr. Albright last week, I know I won’t have time for anything but school once it starts. Part of me is sad about that, but my rational side knows there is no other way. I refuse to be one of those girls who gets sidetracked by a man. I’m going to be a doctor, damn it. And no gorgeous smiling hard body is going to distract me from my career.

“How was the honeymoon?” Grayson asks glancing at me and then to the girl hanging on his every word. She giggles and I’m not sure if it is because she knows the story about me going on Thor’s honeymoon with him after he broke it off with his cheating fiancé or if it’s because Grayson is paying attention to her.

I don’t think his question is the most appropriate thing to say, but I answer anyway. “Satisfying.” I surprise both of us with my answer. Grayson’s eyebrows jolt up in astonishment. I am trying to knock him down to a manageable ego. It doesn’t work, though. It just spurs him on.

“It’s good to know my brother is capable of keeping up the family’s reputation,” says Grayson, his expression indicates he’s patting himself on the back for his cleverness. “I wasn’t sure you would stick around after the free vacation, but here you are.”

Irritated by his declaration I say, “I guess it must be your brother’s skills.” I scowl at him, trying to show him how inappropriate the conversation is.

He stares at me for several seconds as if he’s trying to figure me out and then adds, “Don’t hurt him. Break it off now, if you’re not going to stay with him. He doesn’t need his heart shredded again. He gets attached, obsessed almost. I can see it starting with you. If you’re not in it for the long hall, don’t string him along.”

My face must show him all he needs to know because he says, “Yeah. That’s what I thought. Break it off.”

I look over at Thor as he nears the barista’s counter. His eyes meet mine and that devilish smile spreads across his face. Was he getting too attached to me? We had only been together a few weeks. I like being with him. I really like him. He’s a better distraction than I could have ever hoped for, but he is supposed to just be a summer fling—someone to make the time pass until school starts again, nothing more. I meant to tell him on the flight home that I wouldn’t be able to see him after school starts. It isn’t that I’m avoiding the subject. It’s just never the right time.

I look back over to Grayson. I hate it when people tell me what to do. I get enough of that from my parents. “Why would I do that? I like Thor. I’m sure he only sees me as a rebound anyway, someone to help get him over his cheating fiancé.”

Cora, or whatever her name is, has her phone out and is texting now. I guess she’s tired of being left out of the conversation. Grayson pulls his arm from behind her and leans over the table, talking directly at me in a hushed tone. “You better not hurt him.”

Why do people keep saying that? He’s not some fragile child. He’s the one who asked me on the trip. He was in control the whole time. “I don’t have a red room of pain,” I say and the girl next to him giggles, catching the Fifty Shades reference. “Your brother is stronger than you think. Why do you think I’m going to hurt him?”

“He is obviously more into you than you are to him.”

I shake my head. Grayson doesn’t know what he is talking about. Thor isn’t needy or clingy. It’s not like we even talk or text every day. We’re just taking it one day at a time. Aren’t we?

Thor slides into his seat next to me and rests his arm on the back of the booth behind me. “What did I miss?” he asks, pushing my iced latte toward me.

I shrug not sure what to say. Then the girl next to Grayson says, “Your honeymoon.” She doesn’t even look up from her phone. Her fingers are moving, quickly typing out a text.

In a fatherly tone, Grayson says, “Cara.” Her name must be Cara. I’m surprised he remembered it.

“What? She said that he satisfied her.” She looks up and meets Grayson’s glare. “It wasn’t anything bad.”

“Bro, did you really ask Allison if I…” The words catch in Thor’s throat. He gapes at his brother in disbelief.

Grayson laughs and answers, “She offered it freely. It’s good to know you can play ball with the rest of us. She also told us that she didn’t have a red room of pain, but I suspect that’s a lie. It’s always the quiet ones who go over the edge.”

Oh my god. I am completely mortified. Grayson definitely won this match. Thor looks over at me for confirmation and I’m sure that my skin matches my hair—bright red. Just then the band starts to introduce themselves. Thor’s expressions says he wants to hear more about our conversation. I don’t think he really wants to know the rest of our discussion. Grayson is crazy. Thor is cautious. He’s not going into this blindfolded. On our trip, he told me that he would probably never marry. What does that say to a girl? Besides, it’s not even the Fourth of July yet. I have two months before summer’s end. The band starts up before anyone says anymore and it is so loud in the small space that we can no longer talk. Thor’s fingers find my bare shoulder and I know that I’ve made the right choice to wait. I didn’t even know him a month ago—who knows what will happen by the end of summer. Copyright 2014 Susan Schussler

Blonde Chicks Preferred: June 22, 2013

Liam Nordstrom:  June 22, 2013

“You look like hell,” were the exact words that Will said as he walked into the room and saw me lying in the rented hospital bed. I didn’t doubt that I actually looked like hell, but there was no way I wanted to hear it. I had been in this bed since Friday when they released me from the hospital and I felt like hell.

“Thanks.” I pulled myself up with one hand using the triangle bar hanging over the bed as I pushed the button to bring up the bed behind my back. I wasn’t in as much pain as I had been at the hospital and I was much more comfortable in the privacy of my own home. “It’s about time you blessed me with your godliness.”

“Yeah. Sorry about that.” He had already explained his issues about visiting me at the hospital on the phone. I got it. I couldn’t hold it against him.

“Is Kelsey taking good care of you? I mean, other than helping you with your hair and all.”

“Shut up.” I ran my fingers through my longer than usual hair. “Kelsey’s been great.” I looked around to make sure she wasn’t within earshot. “There’s a nurse who comes in every day to help me with some of the personal stuff. She said my hair looked fine.”

“She’s either really old or really hot.” He laughed as he took a seat in the chair next to me.

“Old,” I admitted. “Kelsey demanded it and I’m glad she did. It’s embarrassing enough.”

“I bet it is.” He laughed again and I wondered if he really understood the crap that I was going through. “Speaking of age, whatever happened with that underage girl? Haven’t heard anything about it in a while.”

“Nothing. They’re not pressing charges at this time, but they are leaving it open, hoping that they’ll get more evidence. My dad says we could sue them but it would cost us more than we could get. Besides, I think the publicity helped my career.”

“No doubt on that one.” Will leaned back and rested his feet on the edge of my bed.

“So what’s going on with you and Mia?” I turned it back on him. “I saw the selfie of you and her having early morning coffee. You said you weren’t back with her. Just getting some exercise?”

“It was just coffee. She’s trying to look unavailable for some other guy. I was helping her out, nothing more.”

I knew how easy it was to get back with exes in Hollywood. At least you know what you’re getting into with an ex. I watched him closely for a few seconds to see if he was lying, but everything he said seemed legit. “Jonathan Williams, you’re still obsessed with that Internet chick, aren’t you?” I used his real name because it always throws him off when I do.

“Is it that obvious?” He rubbed his hands over his face. “Even Mia could tell and she doesn’t usually notice anything not Mia.”

“It’s that obvious.” I nodded. It felt good talking about someone else’s problems.

“I know I’ve got to do something about it. Even my dad could see it. I just don’t want to change what Sarah and I have. Right now, I can tell her anything.”

“Except who you really are,” I interjected.

“I think she knows the real me better than anyone. When I tell her who I am it’s going to screw us up.”

“It could make it better. I say dive in head first. I mean, when was the last time you hooked up with anyone?”

“Don’t go there. I’m trying to have a deep conversation here.” He smiled and added, “Let’s just say things haven’t changed since the last time we talked about this.”

“Too bad. But only you can ‘be the change you want to see in the world,’” I quoted Gandhi in a mocking voice.

“I’m working on it.” He shook his head and added, “It’ll happen soon.”

I knew that much. He would make it happen. The rest depended on the chick.

“I’m going to talk to the website manager and get Sarah’s email. That way I don’t have to worry about her getting hacked by some cyber stalker. Did you see that Ashley Tyler got hacked last week? Nude pics out of her private account.”

“Damn. I missed those? Are they still up?”

“Don’t encourage the hackers, Nordstrom. What are you thinking?” Will looked at me with his most serious expression, then added, “They’re fake, by the way.”

“Damn,” I said again. I knew he wasn’t talking about the pictures, but two particularly famous parts of the singer’s body. “You sure?”

He looked at me cocking his head with one eyebrow raised. I knew I shouldn’t have even questioned him. But I was still going to look online for myself after he left.

We talked some more about the hacking and how best to protect ourselves. Then I told him how the studio had to rewrite the script for the midseason finale because there was no way I could do what they had planned. They were going to write my accident into the plot and possibly shoot a scene here at the house with me in the bed like this. They’d bring in some green screens and dub it all in. “They promised not to kill me off. I guess that’s all that matters.”

“You don’t even realize what’s happening with your career right now, do you? There’s no way they’re going to kill you off. They’re probably scrambling to see how they can tighten up your contract so you won’t move onto something bigger and better.”

I looked at him as if he was crazy.

“I’m serious. Your accident made the front page of all the rags. Didn’t anyone tell you?”

“I need a better agent,” I admitted. I hadn’t seen anything. Maybe I’d just been so out of it that no one wanted to tell me or maybe they had told me. I’d been avoiding googling myself because I was afraid of seeing pictures of the accident. It’s not like I needed to be reminded how badly I’d been hurt. Just then my leg started throbbing, probably because I was thinking about it, and I knew it would end Will’s visit. As soon as I took the pain pill, I would be out. So I explained it to Will and he said he would stop back tomorrow.
Copyright 2014 Susan Schussler

Mia's Fabulous World: June 20, 2013

Mia Thompson: June 20, 2013

I ran into Tom Fallston at Misk last night. It wasn’t an accident. I knew he would be there. I figured we needed to get better acquainted before filming started. We have decent chemistry and we’re doing some love scenes together in Illicit. Production starts in a few weeks and what better way to rehearse for the scenes than to actually do the scenes for real. Private rehearsals always make filming go smoother.

I’d read in the tabloids that last week Tom broke up with model turned actress, Felisha Elson, and I asked him about it. He said he had been thinking about me when he broke it off. I laughed. That was such a line, but it was creative. Two points for Tom.

I questioned how he dated her for so long—six months. She’s completely brainless and everyone knows it. He smiled as his eyes perused my body.

“I thought you and Jonathan were back together.”

As much as I wanted that to be true, it wasn’t and it was time to stop lamenting it. Jonathan and I are meant to be together and it will happen soon enough, but that doesn’t mean I should stop living my life. If I don’t stay relevant then my career will disintegrate. Tom Fallston was just what I needed to stay relevant in the press. With his fame and good looks, we’d be a power couple. For however short-lived, it would still be tabloid cover material. Besides movies always sell better when the leads are romantically involved and I had backdoor rights to this film. I would do all I could to make it profitable.
 
 I shook my head to answer his question and his reaction seemed mixed.

“Too bad. I like to have to work for it,” he said, looking past me into the club as if searching for someone more challenging. I knew he was playing me, his body language invited me home for the night.

I was up for the game. I focused my gaze on a particularly gorgeous Adonis a few yards away, making eye contact with the guy and purring, “We’re not back together, but that doesn’t mean he’s not on retainer.” This seemed to do the trick and Tom stepped closer blocking my view of the other guy. A bit desperate I thought, but he got my full attention. His fingers pushed into my hair from the back of my neck and he tilted my head up like he was moving in for a kiss, but then just stared into my eyes. His were light brown and nothing like Jonathan’s eyes. Still, I fought hard not to lean into his hand. It had been a long time since I was with a man and my body craved the attention. I played the distant bitch, though, and made him think he had to work to catch my interest. I knew right then that I couldn’t go home with him that night—not challenging enough. If I was going to make this movie chemistry the best it could be I would need to string him along for a while and make him beg before giving in.

We talked intimately close for a while, my hand on his abdomen and his in my hair, and I could tell those around us noticed. It wouldn’t go unmentioned in the press. When I said my goodbye to meet up with Kiera and the others, he almost groaned as he said, “We should get together to go over a few scenes, before filming starts.”

“If you need extra rehearsal, I guess we could.” I threw a glance over my shoulder as I walked away and he followed me with his eyes pinned until I sank into the shadows of the club.

On the drive back to Kiera’s I sent a text to Jonathan, optimistically hoping he was still up and may be willing to slip back into our old routine.

Me:  You home?
Jon:  Yep. In bed. 
Me:  Want me to join you?

I thought I would put it out there just in case he was in as much need as me, but part of me knew he wouldn’t accept my offer.

Jon:  Tired. How about coffee at Joe’s 9:30?

It was better than complete rejection.

Me:  A bit early, but OK.
Jon:  See you then.

I was right. 9:30 was way too early to meet him. I made it there though. I knew he would be seated in the back corner away from the windows and restrooms. It’s like he hides from his fans. I don’t understand his need for privacy. My choice would have been where people could find me. With my hair pulled back, my puffy sleep-deprived eyes met his perfectly groomed face and I slid into the booth next to him. A half smile greeted me and he passed me the skinny mocha latte that he’d ordered for me. He had even added the sugar. I love that he still remembers after all this time.

“Liam is in the hospital,” he said without looking up from his coffee.

“STD finally get him?” I asked and a small chuckle broke from his lips.

“Motorcycle accident. I was supposed to visit him, but I couldn’t stomach going into the hospital. Kelsey said he was so doped up on pain meds that he didn’t even notice that I wasn’t there.”

I didn’t know who Kelsey was, but she was connected to Nordstrom, not Jonathan and that’s all I cared about. “If they bother to dope him up, then he’ll survive.” I meant it in a comforting way, but being raised by my mother, I never really learned that womanly trait.

“I guess,” Jon said, before taking a sip of his coffee. “At least it wasn’t the paparazzi that caused the accident.”

“Yeah.” We sat in silence for a long minute. I didn’t want to talk about Nordstrom, but I didn’t want to come off as an insensitive bitch. I knew Jon was dealing with his ghosts and I didn’t know what to say. “He’s all right, though?”

“He’s supposed to get out of the hospital by the weekend. I’ll go visit him then.”

“So what else have you been up to?” I asked.

That damn panty dropping dimple crept onto his face and he shrugged. “Not much. You?”

“Who is she, Jon?” I asked.

“I didn’t say I was seeing someone.” He took a slow draw on his coffee and looked over at me, the dimple still on his cheek. He was definitely seeing someone. Denial was the first sign.

“You didn’t have to. I could tell by the look on your face. Who is she?”

“No one you’d know. She’s not Hollywood.” No worries then. She would never last. “How about you?” he added.

“I ran into Tom Fallston at Misk last night. I was thinking about making our film romance more real.”

His eyebrows curved up questioningly and he clamped his mouth shut as if he was forcing words to stay inside.

“Just tell me.”

“He asked me about you, like he wanted to know if the rumors about us getting back together were true.”

Tom wasn’t lying when he said he’d been thinking about me. “What did you say?”

“Something vague, you know me. He likes a challenge and you are definitely a challenge.”

“I am not that high maintenance. You always say that, but it’s not true.”

“Whatever you say, Mia.” He laughed and I knew I had brightened his mood.

We joked about some of the asinine things I’ve asked him to do over the years. Then he agreed to let me take a selfie of us having coffee together. It was totally out of character for him, but it was part of my plan to make me look like more of a challenge to Tom. I wondered what kind of non-Hollywood girl would be OK with her guy having early morning coffee with his ex. The implications were huge and the press would be spreading them like wildfire. Maybe he hadn’t thought that part through, but I wasn’t going to say anything. Jonathan and I were good together. It just wasn’t our time. It would be someday, though.
 Copyright 2014 Susan Schussler

Perfect Alli: June 19, 2013

Alli:  June 19, 2013

I’m sitting in the parlor of our old Victorian house as Mom rants about the new computer software in her office not interfacing with her tablet. She’s telling me all the different actions she’s taken to alleviate the problem and all I can think about is my week with Thor. I can still feel his touch, his hard muscles pressed perfectly to my curves, his fingers tangled in my hair. The week in Mexico was flawless.

He just sent me a text. Missed your warmth in my bed last night. His words cause all kinds of emotions to bubble through my body. It’s hard to keep the smile off my face. I don’t know how I’m going to spend the rest of the summer denying his existence to my parents, but I know that it is the easiest way to deal with them.

Me:  Want to do something tonight? I need to get out of here.
Thor:  Sure. There’s a band, I like, playing near Lake Calhoun. 
Me:  I’ll be over @6.
Thor:  Sleepover? 

I should talk to my friends to get an alibi before I answer. I look up and nod to keep my mom pacified. If she paid an ounce of attention to me she would see how last week changed me. She would know that I didn’t go grad-school shopping with Megan and that I left every bit of the old me at home to become someone new. I’m not sure I can be the person she thinks I am, anymore.

“We’re having brunch with Nana at the club on Sunday. She’s bringing one of the professors and his wife, and she wants you to make a good impression. He’s on the admissions committee for the medical school.” Her words penetrate the fog in my head.

“What?” I didn’t mean for my voice to sound so disrespectful, but I honestly wasn’t sure I heard her correctly.

“Frank Albright. Your grandmother has arranged for us to have brunch with him and his wife at the country club. If you impress him, which I am sure you will, he will recommend you for acceptance next fall. Even though applications aren’t in, they are already discussing candidates for next year’s admissions and Nana wants to make sure you are on the committee’s radar.”

Her confidence in my ability to impress feels like a lie. I’ve always been a disappointment to my parents and Nana. I’ve seen it so many times on their faces. Like when I missed “amphoteric” in the last round of the fourth-grade spelling bee and when I got a 32 on my ACTs. How many times did I watch my parents cringe when one of their friends or a relative asked my college entrance exam score? Finally, they insisted I take it again even though I didn't need a higher score to get into the U. Right now, part of me wants to run away and hide at Thor’s apartment to avoid all my responsibilities. Not once last week did I feel like a failure. Thor never made me feel inadequate, not even when I had the panic attack. Still, there’s another part of me that wants to pour all my energy into impressing Dr. Albright. I’m torn.

I type out a text to Thor without responding to my mother’s comment.
Me:  Maybe. I’ll bring my toothbrush just in case.

As a man, I’m sure he thinks that’s a “yes” and it is, but even if there is a little doubt it will keep me in control. I feel them without even looking up—my mother’s blue eyes analyzing me.

“Allison, tell Megan that you’ll talk to her later. We need to strategize for Sunday’s brunch.”

Her assumption is all telling. I want to shout that I’m not texting Megan. I want to blurt out that I’m talking to the guy who I spent a week in Mexico with, the guy whose apartment I’m probably going to be sleeping at tonight, but I won’t. It would put my mom in the hospital if I did. I pull together a smile and meet her eyes. “Is he the one that suggested that I tag along on that mission trip with Doctors without Borders last summer?”

“He is. Let’s just be thankful you got it over with last summer. Having an experience like that on your resume will help you stand out. And remember what a great experience that was.”

“Yes, it was.” The trip would have been a great experience if I had been able to stay in a hotel and not a hut, and if the bugs hadn’t been as big as birds. I’ll be the first to admit that I am not a camper and I live for hot showers (which were few and far between on that trip).

“Let’s face it, Allison, your life here is pretty uneventful,” she adds.

Uneventful? I want to roll my eyes. My mind goes immediately to Thor…Oh, by the way, Mom, I spent last week in a foreign country with a gorgeous man you’ve never met. We went parasailing, snorkeling and nightclubbing. We hiked a sacred Mayan city and saw dolphins, sting rays and a guy getting pickpocketed. Absolutely boring.

“I know. My life is so lame. I really need to get out more,” I tell her, but I can’t keep the corner of my lips from turning up. “I’m sleeping at Megan’s house tonight, if that’s OK. We’re going to catch some band she follows.” I’m not really asking, but it’s easier if she thinks I am.

I type out another text to Thor, Got 2 go. CU L8R.

Then I turn my attention back to my mother. “It was so wonderful of Nana to set up brunch with Dr. Albright. I can’t wait to meet him.” My words are pretty much the opposite of my real feelings, but this is my life. I never realized how messed up it was until Thor pointed it out on our trip.
Copyright 2014 Susan Schussler