Friday, February 7, 2014

Megan's Blog: May 19, 2013

Megan:  May 19, 2013


School’s done! We’re officially seniors. We should still be celebrating, but no... It’s Sunday and we have to be out of the rental by five o’clock. The girls who are subletting the house for the summer are already moving in boxes. I get it. They’re anxious to get settled before summer classes start, but couldn’t they give us a chance to breathe after finals. I thought about staying in the house for the summer. It wouldn’t be the same without my friends though. One of the girls, moving in, says that she has a dust allergy and will be dusting the entire house every day. Really? Everyday? Does she realize how much dust is in a hundred-year-old house? Is she crazy? She seems a little too uptight for my sanity and I’m sure I would rip into her a couple hundred times before the end of summer if I stayed.

Still, I’m not looking forward to moving home. I keep telling myself that it’s only three months. I can do anything for three months. I could live at Sarah’s. I know her parents would let me. Or I could live in my car. Either option would be better than my house. I’ll move my boxes home to store them, to make it look like I’m living there, to put up a show. I know I can make myself scarce, like last summer, only going home when I need sleep. It will make everyone in the house happier if I’m a ghost.

I wonder if I’ll run into Chase while I’m home—not likely. He’s probably DEAD. I’d never know. It’s not like his parents would call me. They still blame me for what happened. But I think I would probably know in my heart if he was dead. I’d feel it. Or maybe that connection has been severed forever. I used to think that Chase was my home—what kept me tethered to this earth. Used to. Too much has happened since then. I don’t know what keeps me here now.

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