Jessica: June 1, 2013
Thor. I’m not sure what to think about him. He’s Jeff’s best friend. They were roommates for two years and they get along really well, but I just don’t know if I like him. Honestly, I don’t really know him that well. I’ve only met him a couple of times when he and Nora came to the Cities to visit. He was always with Nora and he seemed so different last weekend now that she is no longer in the picture.
Sarah said that he was flirting with her even after she told him she wasn’t interested. And normally that wouldn’t have bothered her, but somehow his hand, not so innocently, kept landing on the top of her thigh or touching her breast. As much as guys hate to admit it, women balance them. I think he and Nora dated for four years. Maybe Nora balanced Thor or maybe he just lost it because he hasn’t been single for so long. Alli had a date with him last night and I tried to warn her beforehand that he’d been a little off since his break up, but of course, she wouldn’t listen. She never listens. She said she wanted to form her own opinion. I said, “Fine. I’ve got my own problems to handle.” And I did.
Jeff and I hadn't spoken all week. He had apologized, via text, for the lack of contact on Monday night. He said that he met Thor at the bar after he dropped me off and he just lost track of time. By the time he got home, he figured I was already asleep. Really? He was out with Thor? I thought he had to work in the morning?
Frustrated by Jeff’s lack of attention during the week, and convinced that Thor’s breakup was to blame, I sent Jeff the dreaded text that no man ever wants to see from his girlfriend. I didn’t know what else to do.
We need to talk.
I’ll be over after work tomorrow, he replied.
The next day when I opened the door to let him in he watched me apprehensively, his eyes wide. He followed me up to my room without a word. Once inside, he leaned against the door until it clicked closed, and then slid to the floor with his back propped against the exit.
Even though I had contemplated what I would say for days, the words were gone, my mind blank. We stared at each other for what seemed like forever before my tongue started to move. “What the hell is going on? I know that what happened to Thor was horrible, but it has nothing to do with us. I’m not Nora and I’m not cheating on you with your brother. You can’t treat me like this. I don’t deserve it.”
The corners of his lips turned up just a little. “I don’t have a brother and I’m pretty sure Sarah is straight.”
It wasn’t funny. I glared at him.
“I love you,” he mumbled looking down as his finger traced the hole in his distressed jeans.
“What?” How dare he? Couldn’t he tell I was pissed?
“I love you, Jess. I have for a while. I’m sorry if it freaks you out. I know you hate how quickly your dad falls for someone, but this is real. My feelings are real. I don’t…want to break up,” he stumbled on his words.
I looked at him confused, shaking my head.
“I thought you were going to break up with me because you overheard that conversation with my mom. You don’t send a guy a text that says ‘we have to talk’ unless you’re ending it.” He looked up and the muscles of his jaw tightened as an epiphany washed over his face. “Or pregnant?” Pinning me with his eyes, he got up, crossed the room and sat next to me on the edge of the bed. He wrapped his arm around me and whispered in my ear, “If you’re pregnant. We can make it work. You can still finish school. We can get an apartment.” His words seemed rushed like he couldn’t get them out fast enough.
“I’m not pregnant. Why have you been avoiding me? I thought it was the whole Thor/Nora thing. I’ve been calling and texting all week and you never responded, not until the text last night.”
“Jess, I’ve had the worst week of my life. We’re supposed to present the prototype of the 2412 to the VP’s next week and Gary asked me, on Tuesday, to change ‘one little component’ on it. I came so close to telling my boss to F-off. I’ve been working for six months to design the damn thing and he wants to change it the week before we present? I couldn’t get it to work right with the changes, and then the 3D printer blew up. The manufacturer came out to repair it, but it still delayed my work for almost a day. I’ve been at the lab every night until nine and I’m probably going to have to go in this weekend too. You know I don’t get great cell service at the lab. I had to keep my phone plugged in on my desk because the battery drains searching for a signal. I didn’t have it on me. I haven't had time to check the back messages. I just happen to be at my desk when your text came last night.” A defeated expression masked his gorgeous face as he looked up.
His earlier words filled me. Thor hadn’t brought this on. Jeff wasn’t scared. “I love you too,” I said before crushing my lips to his. I knew it was passive aggressive, but I wanted to reassure him and myself that we were OK the quickest way I could. It didn’t take more than a second for him to respond. His hands grasped my waist, pulling me onto his lap as he scooted backward on the bed. Before I could catch a breath, he flipped me under him, pressing me into the mattress, never breaking the kiss. The kiss was tender, but bruising, and gave me all the reassurance I needed. We skipped dinner in favor of christening my childhood bed (twice) and I fell asleep in his arms, hoping one of us had remembered to lock the door, but too exhausted to check.
Copyright 2014 Susan Schussler
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