Megan: August 2nd
Today, I met the girls downtown for lunch. I sat facing the river on the large wooden deck as we discussed Sarah’s new boyfriend. She seemed a bit overwhelmed by her new relationship, but I guess that’s understandable. I don’t know what I would do in her situation. Though I’m happy for her, I don’t think she is being realistic. The relationship won't last and she's going to get hurt.
After lunch, I ran into Tegan Maxwell on Main Street in front of the yogurt shop. I had parked by the antique store, my mom loved so much, and was walking back to my car when I heard my name called from across the street.
I almost didn’t recognize him. The last time I saw him he was a round-faced sixteen-year-old, but today he was all grown up. The toddler in his tattooed arms, a testament of his maturity, dawned the same dark hair and sapphire blue eyes as Tegan. Those eyes. I knew those eyes well. They were identical to the ones I’d stared into for years in high school. Though his hair was dark, his eyes looked the same as Chase’s.
Tegan wrapped me in his arms and kissed my cheek as if I was his long lost sister.
“Megan, I can’t believe you’re walking the streets of Stillwater.”
“I’m not a streetwalker,” I said with a laugh. “I am from here.” I didn't know if I should admit I was living at home for the summer.
“No, that’s not what I meant.” He gripped my arm and squeezed, breaking into a huge smile. “It’s just great to see you.”
“It’s great to see you, too. WOW, you’ve got a kid, Tegan.”
“Yeah.” He looked down at his feet and I saw a glimpse of the sixteen-year-old little brother of my ex I remembered. “It’s a long story.”
He introduced the boy. And as I greeted him I thought about his Uncle Chase. It must have shown on my face because Tegan said, “Chase went to rehab, you know. He’s clean.”
This news slapped my consciousness, pulling thoughts of Chase and me that I had buried deep back to the surface. I always used Chase’s drug problem as a barrier between us, but with him sober, what crutch would I use to keep away from him?
Tegan explained all the gritty details that led to Chase’s recovery and as I listened, I realized the story had more to do with me than I wanted to admit. An hour passed as we stood on the sidewalk talking. The toddler’s sapphire-colored eyes had long since closed and he lay limp in his daddy’s arms, exhausted by the summer’s heat. As we readied our goodbyes, fear must have shown on my face because Tegan looked at me as if he wanted to say more, but then tightened his jaw and said, “I better get this guy a proper nap. Maybe we’ll run into each other again.”
I wanted to give him my number to pass along to his brother, I really did, but I couldn’t. The number Chase had for me was changed long ago in a deliberate effort to keep him out of my life. I’d worked so hard to erect the wall between us, I couldn’t risk bringing it down. Copyright 2015 Susan Schussler
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